Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
