i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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