My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just google imaged poop.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize