If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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