Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
