she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
