so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
