what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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