apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
