You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
