No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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