I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
