so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize