i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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