I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
How naked do you want me to be?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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