Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
