oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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