i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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