im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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