That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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