Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
