Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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