your room smells of hookers.
And success
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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