Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
