Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
