No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
