pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
can u get pink eye on your cock?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize