even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
