If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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