We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
