I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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