i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
