I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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