One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
