In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
