On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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