my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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