dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i out mim tonsoeep
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