The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
