think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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