hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
