Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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