why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
