covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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