dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
