no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
