Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
