we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You have to summon your inner elephant
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
