She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
