Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
