You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize