Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
