i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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