will power is for people who don't want to get laid
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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