But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sorry my hands just texted you
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
