You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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