seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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