I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
