Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
