Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
