If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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