u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
that's an acceptable place to lick
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
