He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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